I HATE my anxiety.
This morning a lad I’ve known for years that always makes the effort to come and see me when I visit my hometown sent me a message asking what I’m doing on 28th and 29th of May. As far as I know I’m not doing anything, so he said he wants to visit. He’s the only person who’s offered to visit me that I know would genuinely go through with it. At first this made me feel kind of anxious, as the thought of having someone other than my mum step-dad or nan visit us kinda makes me feel uneasy for some unknown reason. But then I managed to shut that bit of of my brain up because I really want to see him as I haven’t seen him since September. However I then realised that the 28th is a Sunday, which means there are no buses here and would mean he’d have to get a taxi…which costs anything from £40-£45 to get from the train station to my house which is a ridiculous amount and would mean he’d be spending almost £100 just on taxis to and from the station which isn’t fair on him and I don’t have the money to help pay for it. He then suggested that he would bring his bicycle and just ride that from the station to me which would take around 1 hour and a half…that is when my anxiety woke up again. I’m a natural born worrier, and the thought of him riding a pushbike on the twisty narrow country roads that he’s never been on while having no phone signal just terrifies me…even more so when I’m pretty sure that he’d have to go along the road my step-dad had a car accident on two years ago. 😦 stuck between a rock and a hard place here; I really want to see him as I love his company, but I don’t want him to be at risk riding a bike here or spending stupid amounts of money on taxis. 😦 help!!
🔹immeamy, you’re you, and that’s the best way to be🔹