Chatty Tuesday!

Good afternoon my lovely readers I hope you’re all well. What’s your weather like today? It’s absolutely pissing it down with rain here today! Good excuse to stay indoors in our pyjamas though…not that I need an excuse I just couldn’t be bothered this morning after a bit of a stressful morning! My daughter has always experienced nightmares or night terrors from birth on and off, and would get what’s known as the Parachute Reflex really badly which would scare and upset her so I’d have to try not to let her have too much space around her while she slept to make her feel safe. Anyway yesterday morning and this morning she started screaming and crying in her sleep at about 6am and pleading “mummy help please please help” which is absolutely heartbreaking to hear as I obviously have no idea what has scared her while she slept. Unfortunately she didn’t have any milk left (my daughter still drinks formula milk through the night as a comforter, and it also helps to give her vitamins etc that she’s not getting from food as she’s beyond fussy, which is why she also still sleeps in with me to make it easier to give her bottles in the night) so I just had to bundle her up into a ball for a cuddle while gently scratching her head (she’s like me and prefers her head to be lightly scratched and rubbed rather than stroked) and singing the Phil Collins song from Tarzan You’ll Be In My Heart as softly as I could until she eventually dozed back off to sleep til around 8. That wasn’t the stressful part though, the stressful part was when she did wake up properly she was in an awful stroppy mood which didn’t help when she was asking me for something and I had no idea what she was on about so she got more and more frustrated and louder with her squinnying. The only way she would get her nappy changed and clean clothes on was to sit under the duvet with her (duvet over my head made a kind of tent) and change her that way which was rather awkward and rather warm to do! She has chilled out more throughout the day luckily, other than when something comes on TV that she doesn’t want to watch and ends up having a five min screaming fit at me before giving up and doing something else instead! 

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Tomorrow the mother and toddler group are going over to the school to use their ‘baby room’ and show us what the school is like if we have never been there (like myself I don’t even know how to get into the school grounds!) so if it’s not awful weather like today and my daughter is in a better mood then I’ll take her down. However if she’s in an awful mood again I won’t be taking her as she’ll then kick off when it’s time to leave the toddler group! My mum is coming over tomorrow though so that will cheer my daughter up. 

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Thursday morning I have a driving lesson, which will be after a two week break so I’m pretty nervous about it and not really looking forward to it if I’m honest in case I fuck it all up and have a bad lesson. I’m even more nervous because now I’m having to move on to roundabouts and faster roads etc which doesn’t fill me with confidence as I HATED going 60mph in my last lesson. Ah well I gotta do it if I want to get to a test stage! 

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Last week didn’t have a lot of great news really, in the space of two days I learned that two people I know had died. One was a lady in her 30s called Emma who was found dead in the street in my hometown, I hadn’t seen her for years but she was friends with my Aunty and we would often be with her- she was always lovely but I think she had a pretty difficult life with a lot of loss involved. So that was a shock. Then the day after reading that I heard that an old friend Mark had been in a motorbike accident and died. He was the landlord of a few pubs I used to go to in my teen years, and he always looked out for me whenever I was there. So that was another sad shock. 

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I’ve now got my new phone, the iPhone SE in rose gold which I’m really liking. Though Vodafone are a pain in the arse they sent me a new sim and told me to ring them to activate it with a new number. I done this and was told it could take 12hours…well 24hours passed and it still hadn’t activated so I called them again and was told it could take 48hours. The idiots had changed my mobile number on my old sim rather than new one! So all I had to do was put my old sim into my new phone. Idiots. 

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In a previous post about me hating my anxiety I mentioned about a friend who wants to visit. Well he’s now busy on the 28th so asked about the following week…I bit the bullet and said yes to him visiting. I need to get over my anxiety of having people in my house that aren’t my mum or stepdad, so thought it’s only one night I can do this. He is still planning on riding his bike from the train station but I’ll just try and put that out of my mind and tell myself he’s in a taxi for my own sanity. I have no idea where he’s going to sleep though, as my daughter sleeps in my double bed with me so he can’t sleep in with us, so it’s either the sofa or the single bed which will be my daughters once she’s in her own room…sounds simple enough but this guy is bloody tall lol think he’s 6″8 so won’t fit in a single bed very comfortably…I’ll let him decide when he gets here haha! It’ll be interesting to see how my daughter reacts to him, though I think she’ll be ok as he’s not all loud and in your face so she should warm to him fairly quickly as long as he doesn’t have a beard when he visits (she’s not keen on bearded people!) Oh bollox, I’ve got to cook for him…I haven’t been a ‘host’ in years so I’m a bit rusty haha! Note to self, do not make him ill! And find out in advance what food he likes!

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I finally received my books and papers for my distance learning course on caring for children. It’s got 3 assessments to complete it, the first one being due in on 21st of June though I’ve actually already completed the first one! Hopefully I’ll pass it and not have to redo or edit any of my answers. 

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I’ve started reading Happy Mum Happy Baby by Giovanna Fletcher that I got for my birthday and already I love it. The chapters are fairly short which is what i prefer as I’m the type of person who likes to read a full chapter before putting a book down. Once I’ve read that I’m then moving on to reading the second and third Girl Online books by Zoe Sugg. I love that I’m enjoying reading again after all these years. 

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I really need to sort out my daughters toys in the living room, the collection seems to be growing so I think it’s soon gonna be time to get rid of what she doesn’t play with to make space for her birthday presents! I also need to go through her clothes again I think as she’s got some tops that are a little short in the torso for her now because she’s a lanky bugger!

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I need to remember to post a letter to my good friend who is facing cancer at the moment. I made her a little something that she can take with her to appointments etc so that I can ‘be there with her’ in a sense as I can’t physically be there with her…if I lived closer I’d be with her for every appointment possible. So hopefully my letter and little gift will keep her hopes up ☺️

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Anyway, enough rambling for today, I need to go and find something to cook for my dinner…though it’ll probably be either beans on toast or a crisp sandwich as I really can’t be bothered today! 

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Hope you all enjoy the rest of your day. I will be back on Thursday to tell you how my driving lesson went! Fingers crossed I don’t mess up! 

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πŸ”Ήimmeamy, you’re you, and that’s the best way to beπŸ”Ή

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