Relationship Story Time: Being The Other Woman

For this story, his name will be changed to John. 

My housemate ‘kelly’ had recently got a job in a new club that was due to open, but they were very behind in getting the place ready so had asked staff to bring in volunteers to help get the club ready for opening night- so I agreed to help as I previously worked in a pub so knew how to set up fridges etc. 

While I was sorting one of the bars, I was introduced to John who was the boss; he asked if I needed help with anything and I said I needed a fridge to be moved as I couldn’t do it, to which he said he’d help with…an hour went past and the fridge still hadn’t been moved. John then appeared again and I shouted at him “will you move this fucking fridge like I asked you to over an hour ago!”. Everyone around me went silent in shock that I’d spoken to the boss like that (when I’m in work mode wanting to get stuff done I don’t care who you are if you’re stopping my work I’ll bite your head off). John smirked and finally moved the fridge, saying “you’re a feisty one ain’t ya!”

The next day I went in with Kelly who needed to collect something, and John was there on an egg chair. When we spoke I then realised he had a northern accent (always loved northern accents) and it was then I paid attention and realised I kind of liked what I was seeing. 

One night, myself and Kelly went to the club for a night out, we went to the smoking area and John was sat there. We stood chatting with him and others, then Kelly tells John to ‘look after’ me while she went to find her husband, and with that John grabbed hold of me and plonked me on his lap and wouldn’t let me go. When Kelly came back, john took us to the bar and got us a drink…I didn’t pay for any drinks after that as he just kept appearing and handing me a full glass. That night, Kelly and myself stayed at the club over night because she had a bad argument with her husband so didn’t want to go home and didn’t want me to go home in case he took his bad mood out on me. Kelly stayed in one room with a lad who worked for john, and john offered me his bed saying he’d sleep on the sofa, but I said I didn’t mind sharing with him as the living room was freezing cold and neither of us wanted to be out there really. (I had a lot of male friends who I shared beds and sofas with all the time, literally just to sleep nout else). We stayed up talking all night getting to know each other and finding out our similarities. I then joked saying he should give me a job so he could see me more, and he replied “you either have a job, or have my bed whenever you want it”. Looking back now I should have chosen the job or nothing at all! Nothing happened that night, but he did ask me to stay the following night. 

We were out on the roof, he was drinking southern comfort and kept trying to tell me something but chickened out each time. After a while he then admitted that he liked me “rather a lot”, and wasn’t sure if I felt the same way or not. That night was our first kiss, up on the roof right by the edge.  Our ‘relationship’ was a whirlwind after that moment. 

We loved each others company, he’d often drag me to his meetings or we’d go out and get food or simply sit up all night talking about random shit, or I’d be helping him with his admin like payroll etc. One day I actually spent 5 hours or more ironing all his shirts on the floor on a towel because he had no ironing board. John did also tell me he loved me, and played the part of the perfect gent holding his arm out for me to hold etc. However, John had a long term girlfriend back in his hometown who he lived with. I knew this from the start (shoulda stayed away!) and even though I wasn’t exactly happy about it, I couldn’t help how I felt. John was always telling me how awful she was to him, and how he was planning on leaving her but had a lot to sort first as they had a house together etc. 

His mother found out about us, and she was fuming. She visited the club one night that I was there and if looks could kill my god I’d be dead 100 times over. She slagged me off purposely within earshot calling me ‘some painted lady’ amongst other names. I tried to be civil and polite to her, but she wasn’t having any of it. This caused an argument between her and John because he didn’t like how she was treating me. The next day, we were all sat in the office and his mum apologises to me for how she acted, and said that she just wants her son to be happy, to which he butted in and said “well she makes me happy”. She did then accept it and realise I was actually a nice person who wasn’t after his money etc. 

Stupidly, I fell for johns charm and was totally blinded by it. Turns out I wasn’t the first girl he’s charmed; he had one in a different town where he had another club, and had cheated on his girlfriend in his previous club he had in my hometown a few years before. It took me a long time to see his true colours, and realise how manipulative and horrible he actually was. I felt awful for being the other woman as I know how it feels to be cheated on (though I later found out his gf knew about the others, and had even caught him in bed with someone before and hadn’t left him, so I kinda stopped feeling sorry for her and thought she was a bloody idiot for staying with him). 

So moral of the story here, is to not get involved with people who have a partner no matter how much they charm you and feed you with lies on how they’re planning on leaving their partner for you- it never happens. If they were serious about being with you, they’d end their relationship ASAP. Being the other woman just sets you up for heartbreak and feeling completely used. It’s something I will never do again. 

🔹immeamy, you’re you, and that’s the best way to be🔹

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