How close is your family? I don’t just mean your immediate family like siblings and parents, I mean everyone like aunts, uncles, cousins etc. Do you contact each other regularly? Exchange Christmas and birthday cards every year without fail? Meet up for family get togethers?
When I was younger, my family used to be pretty close, and we’d often have little family get togethers at home (I lived with my mum and nan from birth til around age 5/6) where even my Nans siblings and their children would visit. Every year we’d spend a fortune sending out Christmas cards and birthday cards to each other. As I got older, there would be little Christmas and sometimes summer parties at my Great Auntys house, or myself and my Nan would go and stay with her other sister for a weekend; we would visit my Nans Dad while he was still alive for Sunday roast quite often, and my nans 2nd husband Geoff who always remained a family friend. As for my dads side of the family I was always over at his sisters house or going out to local places with her and her children, or we’d spend hours up in their mums attic looking through old things from their childhood; we’d go to boot sales almost every weekend, and go play bowls at the bowls club.
Sounds pretty nice really doesn’t it? Well that closeness has definitely gone now.
I speak to my mum and Nan every day, exchange emails and texts with my dad every now and again, but that’s it for contact. As for receiving cards, only my nans remaining sister and brother send myself and my daughter birthday and Xmas cards every year without fail and usually include either a present or money. One of my cousins lives about 40mins from me with her 2 children, but I haven’t seen or heard from her since my daughters 2nd birthday which was over a year ago; and her brother comes here to visit his wife’s family sometimes but has never once popped in to see us, and now they’ve had their own baby myself and my daughter are forgotten about and pushed to the side even more (I would talk to his wife more often than him!) My Aunty I’m not fussed about as she’s never been a favourite relative of mine, she used to send cards but hasn’t for over a year now…no excuse really as she runs her own card shop! My uncle I absolutely love him he reminds me of Rodney from only fools and horses, but I haven’t seen him since my daughter was a baby or heard from him…and his wife doesn’t bother to send us even a card at Xmas but last year sent my mum and Nan a gift card each whereas my daughter didn’t even get a nice card it was a cheap one from a multipack box with no thought or love put into it let alone any effort. As for Geoff, I don’t even know if he’s still alive…a few years back he started acting strange towards my Nan and going on at her to go and stay with him which made her feel uncomfortable so she stopped answering him…turns out he was diagnosed dementia which probably explains why his behaviour was strange; I wish I knew if he was alive and well or where he was buried if he’s no longer here, but I have no contact details for anyone who would have known him. I don’t have anything to do with any of my dads family other than him because quite frankly they’re all shit stirring backstabbers that like to cause drama…even my dad has nothing to do with them for that reason, he only has contact with his half siblings and his dad.
It’s amazing how a few years can change everything isn’t it?
I’ve actually got friends and even people I haven’t met that ask about my daughter more than what some family do. For example, my best girl mate sof has never even met my daughter, yet for her birthday this year she sent her a parcel full of goodies; another friend Linds who I think only saw my daughter once as a baby has sent her a parcel of goodies before just because. There’s a lad I chat to on whatsapp called Paul who I’ve never met, yet he even sent a message saying happy birthday to her this year and asked if she had a good day. Yet some so called family members couldn’t even send a simple text to wish her happy birthday or see how we are once in a while. It makes me so mad that the ones who are supposed to ‘care the most’ are the ones who don’t give a shit. It takes 30seconds to send a text to see how someone is or wish them happy birthday. Last year I spent a small fortune on Xmas cards and postage for family members…I won’t be doing that this year that’s for sure! I don’t see why I should be the only one making the effort with people.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to have a close family like before, with get togethers etc, but at least this way I can see who truly cares about me and my daughter, and quite honestly I’ve got no time for ‘part time’ people in my life or my daughters life. I’ve learnt who I can and can’t trust, and who are the judgemental arseholes. I don’t need their negative impact on mine or my daughters life so they’re welcome to stay away if that’s they’re prerogative. I know that some family members don’t ‘approve’ of my life choices such as being heavily tattooed, not going to university, currently not having a job, and being a single mum, but at the end of the day it’s my life not theirs, and as long as my daughter is cared for and loved that’s all that matters! Just because I have tattoos it doesn’t make me a bad person, and just because I didn’t choose to go to university doesn’t mean I’m an uneducated idiot with a low level of intelligence…and just because I’m a single mum that chooses to stay home with my daughter it doesn’t mean I’m a scrounger or that my daughter goes without, it means that I want to spend as much time as I can with my little girl before she’s made to go to school. I have no time at all for any judgmental idiots non matter who they are.
Has the closeness of your family changed over the years?
Sorry, slightly ranty post!
🔹immeamy, you’re you, and that’s the best way to be🔹