Chatty Tuesday 

Good afternoon I hope you’re all doing well. I’ve got no idea what I’m about to write so I apologise if it’s rambly or doesn’t make sense! 

My daughter has messed up her body clock again. Yesterday she woke up at 4:30am, and this morning was closer to 4! However I’m quite glad that this morning she did go back to sleep around 7 til 10:30 so atleast I was able to sleep too, and hopefully she’ll go back to normal sleeping now…I’d rather she didn’t wake up that early on Thursday when I have a driving lesson! Fingers crossed! 

I got a lovely little surprise from my friend today in the post, she sent me a shopping bag with Johnny Depp on it as she knows he’s my favourite actor 🙂 it’s from the new pirates of the Caribbean film which I still need to see!

Speaking of letter writing, I’ve started writing to a girl I met when I worked at Punkyfish who used to come in all the time, she’s been struggling with her mental health lately so I thought I’d start sending her random letters every now and again to give her something to look forward to and hopefully brighten her day when she’s feeling shit. I don’t like seeing people struggle, so if I can do anything to help them I will, even if it is something simple like a letter- it shows that someone cares which often is what people need. 

On the subject of mental health, I’m getting so sick of people thinking that when I mention I’m tired it’s because I’m depressed… just because I have depression doesn’t mean I’m depressed 24/7. My mental health is pretty much under control luckily (without medication too), I will always have depression as it’s something that stays in the background and will appear every now and again (I just know how to control it better and not allow it to take over). So if I say I’m tired, it’s because I haven’t had enough sleep! I’m comfortable enough with mental health that if I’m feeling low I will openly say it, I don’t hide it by claiming I’m tired. I have had insomnia for 10 years, meaning I haven’t slept well in 10 years…so when my daughter decides to wake up at stupid o’clock of course I’m going to be drained and tired, I’m human I’m allowed to be tired without it being about my mental health. Some things are as simple as black and white, you don’t need to over analyse and look deep into my words…I’m honest, if I feel shit I’ll say it, if I’m tired from a crap night sleep I’ll say it! And FYI, assuming that someone’s mental health is playing up is not a good thing to do, it’s infuriating when someone assumes and it isn’t helpful in the slightest it’s just annoying…especially when it’s more than one person, and one of them doesn’t actually know you. So don’t assume, if someone wants to talk to you about something, they will; assuming they’re having a break down or whatever will just annoy and anger them and possibly make them not wish to speak to you if they were having mental health difficulties. So just keep that in mind…I’m not unwell, I’m just fucking knackered lol 

How many times have you sat and typed out a message to someone then deleted it? There’s a guy I was chatting to (he’s tall, and though not essential he’s got tattoos, lovely eyes, great build, and is a brilliant artist with a great sense of humour) but lately he’s kind of stopped messaging me as much…infact its barely at all. I’ve been wondering whether to send him a message basically asking if he’s just genuinely not very chatty or if he’s not interested. But then I don’t want that to come across wrong…I don’t bloody know. I’d understand if he has lost interest, because I don’t know when I’m going to be able to meet him and not everyone likes waiting. Who knows! 

I’m STILL waiting for when I can do my theory test; I know that my stepdad is busy, but it feels like my mum isn’t even trying to look for a day he could take me…I asked her to phone the test centre to at least ask about prices and if they only do theory tests on certain days, but she hasn’t even done that :/ I can’t phone them myself as it costs a small fortune to use my landline and my mobile signal is shite for texting most the time let alone phone calls. I just want to get it done incase I fail it the first time and need to re do it. My instructor keeps on asking me about my theory, because I think I need to pass that before I can even try my practical test. I’m hoping that I’ll only need one more block of lessons before trying my practical test…I hope. I’ve just got to perfect everything now so fingers crossed I can get up to test standard and pass first time…I don’t even care if I pass with some minors, as long as I pass I don’t care. I keep seeing cars for sale it’s really annoying I just want to be able to drive 😩

Has anyone been watching a series on BBC 2 called Top Of The Lake China Girl or something along those lines? I’ve binged watched 4 episodes it’s a strange series. 

I’ve tried out one of the new zoella products…didn’t think much of it but I’ll be posting my review on here soon for anyone interested. 

I think that’s enough rambling for today, as always mum is coming over tomorrow then I’ve got a 2 hour driving lesson Thursday. Such an exciting life I lead eh! Lol 

🔹immeamy, you’re you, and that’s the best way to be🔹

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