The lad I’d been talking to and taken a serious liking to is just completely doing my head in now. He ignores me, then Friday he asked what I was doing Saturday because he wanted to see if I was around…even though COUNTLESS fucking times I have told him that I can’t just go out whenever I want because I’m a single mum, I won’t invite random people to my house because I don’t want my daughter meeting people who aren’t gonna stay in her life aswell as the fact I have no idea what they’re like in person, and that there’s usually only one day a week if that where I can get out on my own for a few hours. Funny how he complains about living around 45mins/hour away from me, but when it suits him he wants to meet up. I bet if I were to say “sure come over and you can just stay the night” that he’d easily find a way here. (Not gonna happen btw). He then randomly tells me I look ‘really beautiful’ in my whatsapp picture, then just hasn’t bothered replying even though he’s read my message (those little blue ticks on whatsapp are both a blessing and a curse!). I’m pretty convinced that he’s got a few girls or at least one on the go to be honest…and that it’s a thing him and his mates do seeing as the first time I spoke to him on the phone his friend was there too and he was also ‘chatting girls up’. It’s really fucked me off because on paper we’re pretty well suited (apart from he drinks a bit too often). But hey, I’m done chasing now if he wants to talk to me then fine I’ll answer but I’m not making the effort anymore it’s a waste of my time and energy.
Few months ago my mum actually said to me that she can’t see me getting into a relationship again…which to be honest was a bit of a kick in the proverbial bollox! I mean, yeah there’s good things about single like I don’t have to worry if someone is cheating on me, I don’t have to make an effort everyday with things such as shaving my legs because no one but me sees them (no I don’t look like big foots cousin, I don’t leave it that long I just don’t have to worry about doing it). But the bad thing about being single is the loneliness; I miss cuddling up to someone who can wrap their arms right around me, having someone who genuinely wants to know how my day has been and will make it better if it’s been shit, someone to just randomly leave a comment on a photo to make me smile…just all the soppy sentimental stuff really because sex really isn’t important to me so it’s not even that I miss sex because I can honestly say I don’t…I mean the last time for me was when my daughter was conceived and she’s 3years old now so that in itself shows I don’t really care about sex and that type of intimacy.
I’ve always described myself as a holiday. Basically guys fancy a change from their usual type of girls (usually the ‘Instagram pretty’ kinda girls that eat healthy and go to the gym etc) and will show interest me because I’m the opposite (heavily tattooed, can eat a large pizza to myself, has the humour and banter of a bloke etc). They reel me in, making me think that I’m in for a chance, then they just throw me back to sea and fuck off back ‘home’ to their usual type, leaving me to feel used and lied to. I’ve lost count how many times it’s happened, or how a guy will tell me they’re not ready for a relationship, but a week later will be in a relationship with someone else. It is safe to say my luck with men and relationships is seriously shite.
I mean, if you like someone, like genuinely really like them, then actually prove it rather than being a dick and leaving them to wonder where the hell they stand with you. And maybe I’m old fashioned, but surely if you claim to like someone then you’re gonna be giving them all your attention, not sharing it out to whoever will take it?
Who knows, maybe next year once I’m hopefully driving and working I’ll be able to meet someone I click with…then again I could just end up even more like Bridget Jones and sit in my pjays singing to sad love songs
Sorry for the random little rant, needed to let it out before trying to sleep as it’s not good to go to sleep while annoyed/angry etc. Anyone else got absolutely shit luck when it comes to relationships and dating?
Fun fact: I’ve never actually been on a date. Have you?
🔹immeamy, you’re you, and that’s the best way to be🔹