Chatty Tuesday 

I’m back to writing in the evening again haha! Hi everyone how are you all doing I hope you’re all fine and dandy. 

My daughter has not long fallen asleep on the sofa, so I’ve just taken her upstairs and put her in bed then came back down. I usually just go up to bed with her, as she has nightmares every now and again and if she wakes up and can’t see me she proper freaks out and gets really upset, but I thought tonight she seems pretty deep in sleep so she should be ok for an hour or so up there by herself. I’ve got the tv off so there’s no noise so if she does wake up at all I can hear her and run up to her. I’ve just tidied up her chaos in the living room, and now I’m just sat on the sofa just to breathe really. I don’t do this often, I’m not usually one for silent rooms, but right now I just feel I need the quiet to kinda recharge myself in a sense. Since moving here I have been to my home town twice a year by myself to just recharge and get some me time (even though the second I leave I miss my daughter like crazy and spend most of the time thinking or talking about her when I get there!). I usually only go for one night; I tend to get the train at around 11am, then I usually get home by 4-5pm the next day depending on taxis from the station. It’s good to take some time away and just recharge and kinda be Amy rather than Mum in a sense…obviously I’ll forever be a mum but I mean it’s good to be able to get away and not have to worry about my daughter because I know she’s safe and happy with her Nanna (even more so as my mum sends me photos and videos to reassure me she’s fine), but one night is enough for me. I haven’t been able to visit my hometown since September last year because of paying for driving lessons, and I highly doubt I’ll get there at all this year as I want to wait until I’m able to drive there myself in order to save money as trains and taxis are ridiculous. So maybe I just need the silence because I haven’t had my ‘get away’ time this year. Who knows! Either way I’m quite content just sat on my sofa drinking cherryade and rambling away on my blog 🙂 

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My friend who recently started blogging posted something today where she spoke about a part of our teen years together, and she said something that I had honestly never realised before. She said that she has always felt like a consolation prize when it comes to us and boys, that any boy she liked actually fancied me but went for her because I wasn’t interested basically. I never even realised she felt that way, and I honestly never realised or noticed the male attention I must have received at that point of my life. I must have been so wrapped up in liking whoever I liked at the time that I was blind and oblivious to other guys giving me attention? I don’t know! But it made me feel bad that she felt that way, as I had no clue and obviously didn’t do it intentionally. In fact when we were friends I was always pretty jealous of her because of her figure and mainly the fact that she actually had boobs and I’ve always been a bit of an ironing board in that department! Her post also made me realise how bloody stupid we both were at certain points in our lives for our very bad decisions we sometimes made. It also made me wonder why and how we ended up kinda drifting apart and not really talking for a while…I actually can’t remember the last time I saw her which is sad as I honestly think if it wasn’t for her being part of my school life I really wouldn’t have coped with it at all…though both our attendances for school was awful as we both hated school so would always call in sick or be sent home from feeling unwell…we also barely ever done PE either, it all depended on what the activity was, the weather, who the teacher was, and if we’d shaved our legs or not as to whether we’d join in or sit out haha! We were pretty inseparable really, so I have no idea how or why that changed. I am glad I have her back in my life, even if it is just via cyber space and letter writing. Every tall person needs a shorter friend right? (Sorry S please don’t hurt me haha!) I really hope she writes more ‘story time’ posts about our past, I love reading back on memories the way that others remember them, and we have some bloody good memories! 

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I had a pretty long chat with a guy today…I had a knock on my door and stood there was this gorgeous lad who was a fundraiser for Alzheimer’s Research UK. He was so smiley and cheery, and bloody hilarious I think we stood chatting for a good half hour or more. He was my height, shaved head, and half Turkish so he had that beautiful slightly tanned skin tone. He’d not long had his first tattoo done as part of a sleeve on his right arm of a tiger and a rose so far, and was saying how he’s at that awful stage of it scabbing and flaking which isn’t the nicest lol we then spoke about my tattoos as I completely forgot that all I was wearing when I answered the door is a pair of quarter length leggings and a tight ish vest top…I haven’t been that ‘exposed’ in front of a stranger for a few years! (I always used to wear tight jeans and fitted tops but after my daughter I stick to baggier stuff now due to lack of confidence) He was lovely, easy to chat to and have a laugh with…then he mentioned he was 18 which put me off a bit, then he mentioned he was moving in with his girlfriend next week (all future plans of marrying him and having more gorgeous children went out the window! I’m joking obviously calm down). But it was nice to have a face to face chat with someone for a bit, even if he was a complete stranger, it brightened my day anyway. And I actually phoned up the charity after and told them how brilliant he was so he can get the praise he deserves. One things for sure, his girlfriend is one lucky lady! Haha! 

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I have actually now come upstairs as I could hear my daughter talking in her sleep and I thought she’d woken up because she was calling for me…but no she was just dreaming! But I thought sod it I’ll stay in bed now I’m here! 

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So tomorrow is of course Wednesday which means my mum will be staying over for the night. I’m impressed with myself I actually remembered to take the chicken and the bacon out of the freezer and put them in fridge ready for tomorrow when I’m cooking chicken wrapped in bacon with cheese in the middle. I love this dish, but I hate making it as I can’t stand the feel of uncooked meat, so that’s gonna be fun! Thursday I then have just a 2 hour driving lesson; I purposely done this as I know for a fact on Thursday I’m not going to be 100% due to the fact it would have been Andrews 30th birthday but now it’s his birthday and a year since he died, so it’s going to be a tricky day so I thought it was best to just do a 2 hour lesson so that it goes quicker and I don’t have to try and focus for too long. I’ve got a post ready for Thursday to put up on here about losing Andrew that I’ve written in my phones note section (thank you iPhone for having that feature!) that I keep going back to and editing, it’s a pretty deep post as you can probably imagine, but it’s one I need to write. 

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I’m still not feeling 100% yet, this cold I’ve got from being run down isn’t great, and because I feel yuck it’s making me feel more fun down! Big nasty circle! 

I have however managed to finally finish my 2nd assessment from my distance learning course, now I just need to write it up neatly in the booklet and send it off! It’s not due until July 22nd but I always send stuff in early. 

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It’s really scary to think that in a few weeks my little 2 year old is turning 3! Time has gone so fast 😦 the faster this year goes, the closer it gets to needing to apply for a school place for her to start part time in September next year…I want to keep my baby forever she’s growing up too quick!! Soon she’ll be 18 and leaving her poor old mum all alone singing into a wine bottle to Celine Dion whilst miming the drum solo…(if no one understands that reference, you clearly haven’t seen Bridget Jones and if that’s the case…what on earth are you doing with your life? Haha!). But seriously, why does time have to go so fast? It’s terrifying. 

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Anyway I guess that’s enough rambling from me tonight! Time to try and get comfy though it seems my RLS is gonna play up tonight!  Though I will quickly say, please give me some suggestions as to what you want to read on my blog like if there’s any particular subjects you want me to talk about or whatever, I’d be interested to know and would do my best to make it happen 🙂 Have a good week everyone. 

🔹immeamy, you’re you, and that’s the best way to be🔹

Immeamy Advice Time 3

Learning To Like Yourself.

A phrase I’ve heard for many years from other people to myself is “if you can’t love yourself no one else will”. This phrase has annoyed me since the very first time I heard it as I don’t totally believe it’s true. I do however believe that you need to like yourself in order to be liked and loved by others, here’s what I mean by liking yourself:

Find the positives
Step back and think of all the good things you have done in your life, big or small, or think about things like that pound coin you put in the guitar case of a busker as you walked by. Showing kindness, compassion, and love towards other people makes you a pretty decent person, and what’s not to like about that! So forget about how past relationships have made you feel like you’re a bad person and that everything is your fault, because if you’re a decent person that won’t be true. So like yourself for having those positive loving traits.

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Know your worth

Now I don’t mean money here obviously, I mean your self worth. You deserve better than some sleazy nasty man who only wants you for one thing, or a violent woman that knocks you about for breathing too loud. Do not settle for second best, no one deserves to be treated like that, so tell yourself that what you deserve is real true love, not negativity and nastiness of any kind.

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Accept your past and learn from it

Everyone makes mistakes in life, whether it’s not studying for an exam and failing it, or even sleeping with someone you now regret sleeping with. There is no point in living your life punishing yourself for your past mistakes; instead, stand up, admit you were wrong, and learn from it so that you can move on with your life and do things differently instead of beating yourself up about something that happened years ago that as no relevance to your life now. Everything happens for a reason, but that doesn’t mean you have to find the reason for everything if it’s not obvious. 

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You are beautiful. 

This is one I personally struggle with really badly. I’ve never liked my body and how I look, even before pregnancy when I was really skinny, I couldn’t see that and I wanted to be slimmer. I’m not saying you need to look in a mirror and tell yourself you’re amazing etc because if you don’t believe it then you’d be lying to yourself. Instead, pick out things you like about yourself; it could be your personality, your laugh, or something physical. (For me, I like that I’m a caring selfless person, and physically I like my eyes, cheek bones and jaw line). It doesn’t have to be something really obvious, but there is always at least one tiny thing everyone likes about themselves. There is no right or wrong way to be beautiful, everyone has different opinions as to what is beautiful and what isn’t, which means there is someone out there who will love the way you flick your hair off your shoulder, or the way your eyes sparkle when you smile. Don’t allow negative comments from anyone take over you and take away your beauty from you. 

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Don’t put up with shit.

Personally, I have no time for drama in my life. I just simply can’t be bothered with it because nothing good comes from it (that’s why I’ve not got many friends these days, I cut out a lot of negative people from my life). If someone is making you unhappy, don’t put up with it, either tell them or simply remove them from your life (on Facebook alone my block is is over 100 people for that exact reason). If a ‘friend’ gets pissy with you for no reason, don’t sit and stew on it letting it make you angry and upset, just forget it as you don’t need that kind of attitude in your life to bring you down. You are not a doormat, don’t allow people to walk all over you.

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Don’t be so hard on yourself.

This is another one I struggle with but I’m working on it- don’t put yourself down or doubt yourself so much. If you have the attitude of “I can’t do it I’m stupid I’m going to fail”, then chances are you will fail but not because you lack ability, because you allow your lack of self belief to take over. With me, I never aim high, or set goals as it puts pressure on me which makes me more anxious, if I don’t expect anything then I won’t be disappointed; instead I say to myself “I can do this, I will try my best and if it doesn’t work I can try again or move on it’s fine”. As long as you try that’s all that matters. We can’t be amazing at everything in life, but there’s no point in allowing ‘failure’ rule our lives. 

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Have self respect and morals

Don’t go out feeling sorry for yourself for being single and end up in bed with a one night stand after drinking copious amounts of alcohol, it won’t make you feel better if anything you’ll feel worse. Have respect for yourself and take care of yourself because you don’t really want to add to your list of regrets and mistakes for the sake of getting any form of affection and attention from anyone who’s willing. 

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It’s ok to be single. 

When I was younger, I hated becoming single even after bad relationships, but as I grew up I realised that it’s perfectly ok to be single. I’ve been single since 2012 (I don’t really count 2016 as that wasn’t even a month and we didn’t see each other) and honestly, even though sometimes it would be nice to have someone to cuddle up to and have a laugh with or get good morning texts from, I’m actually quite happy being single. There’s no pressures of keeping someone else happy, no one to argue with, no one to make an effort for other than for myself. You need to learn to not be so reliant on others and realise that actually you can do perfectly fine on your own. The right person will come along, and if they don’t then it isn’t the end of the world! 

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To love yourself is asking a lot of yourself, so be realistic, and just atleast learn to like yourself, even just a little. 

🔹immeamy, you’re you, and that’s the best way to be🔹

Let’s talk about bullying

I’ve seen today that This Morning are doing a phone in about bullying. I’m not sure I’ll watch it as every time they’ve done this discussion it’s made me angry. But, I thought I’d do a post about it. 
The main thing that annoys and angers me, is when people say that bullies only bully because they’ve had a bad childhood etc…this is complete bullshit. Some people are just naturally nasty individuals that have it as a personality trait and will bully people to have a sense of power and to feel higher ranked than others, or just because they find it hilarious to make other people unhappy. People need to stop giving bullies excuses as to why they bully, as all you’re doing is justifying their behaviour and I’m sorry but there’s no justification to bullying someone. 

Cyber bullying/online bullying. This one has always baffled me; every social media platform whether it’s Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat or even WordPress has features which allow you to either monitor what goes on your page before it’s posted (on here for example I have to approve comments before they’re posted), there’s a block feature, and in settings you can set profiles to private so that only select people can see what you post. So I’ve never understood why or how cyber bullying has become such a big thing when it’s easy enough to block people and privatise your profiles or even individual posts. 

Children with social media need to be taught on how to be safe online and the dangers of it- when I was a young teenager with Bebo, MySpace, and VampireFreaks my mum never had my passwords or checked my profiles etc, and I never once had any issues as I used my initiative and would block anyone who was nasty or appeared creepy etc, and that was without my mum even telling me the dangers of the internet, it just made sense to me to stop unwanted people from contacting me. Also, don’t put things like location, or contact details on social media like your mobile number…just use common sense and protect yourself a bit! 

At the end of the day, bullying is difficult to control, however I do not believe enough is done to try and stop the bullies and support the victims, I’ve seen this first hand from when I was at school and bullied. Every teacher should have training on how to spot bullying and how to support the victims and deal with the bullies, and students of every age in schools need to be taught every week not just on the bullying awareness weeks about what is classed as bullying and how to treat each other etc. Free Counsellors for the children should also be available in the school for them to talk to in confidence about what is going on. Bullying can also happen in the work place as adults too, so again I think there needs to be proper training given, free counselling offered, and more support given to the victims with appropriate actions taken against the bullies. I also believe that the police should take bullying cases more seriously, and even go into schools and work places to do talks about it. 

🔹immeamy, you’re you, and that’s the best way to be🔹

List Of Some Of My Favourite Music Videos

I’ve just watched a video on YouTube listing some awesome music videos so it got me thinking to what my favourites are…turns out I have a LOT so this isn’t the whole list but the first ones I thought of automatically. Also here’s a link to the video I watched that got me thinking of this list, go give him a like and subscribe 🙂 https://youtu.be/pGrAQ1Wibh4

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Heres my list! All can be found on YouTube if you wanna check them out. 

No Doubt- Don’t Speak 

Lily Allen- Alfie

Papa Roach- Hollywood Whore

Staind- Outside

Blue October- Hate Me

Greenday- Basket Case

Avenged Sevenfold- Nightmare

AFI- Miss Murder

Aiden- Last Sunrise

Korn- Foresaken

Rise Against- Hero Of War

David Bowie- Ashes To Ashes

David Bowie & Mick Jagger- Dancing In The Street

David Bowie- Black Star

David Bowie- Lazarus

Steps- The Way You Make Me Feel

S Club 7- You

Enya- Caribbean Blue

Evanescence- My Immortal

Michael Jackson- Beat It

Panic! At The Disco- I Write Sins Mot Tragedies

Jamie T- Sticks N Stones 

The Killers- Mr Brightside 

Kate Nash- Foundations 

Nickleback- Photograph 

Lordi- Would You Love A Monster Man.

Lordi- Red Sandman

Lordi- Devil Is A Loser

Alice Cooper- Poison 

Steel Panther- Death To All But Metal

All American Rejects- Gives You Hell

All American Rejects- Dirty Little Secret

Deaf Leppard- Pour Some Sugar On Me

Twisted Sister- We’re Not Gonna Take It

Bowling For Soup- Girl All The Bad Guys Wants

Buckcherry- Crazy Bitch 

Limp Bizkit- Rollin’ 

Bruno Mars- Uptown Funk

My Chemical Romance- I Don’t Love You

Busted- Sleeping With The Light On 

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There are sooooo many more music videos I love, but I’d be here forever if I included all of them haha! 

Are there any on my list that you love too?

🔹immeamy, you’re you, and that’s the best way to be 🔹

Movie Tag Questions 

How often do you watch a movie?Depends on what I’ve recorded to watch on tv, but I’d say at the very least once a week. 

What movie genre is your favourite?  I’m not sure really, I don’t think I have a favourite genre in particular. I used to love horrors but not so much now 

What was the last movie that you’ve watched and liked? I just finished watching Identity Theif which is pretty funny 

What was the last movie that you’ve watched and disliked? I don’t remember, if I don’t like a movie I’ll just turn it off and watch something else 

What is your most favourite movie of all time? Labyrinth 

Your most favourite guilty pleasure movie? I don’t know if I’m honest, I guess because I’m a ‘grown up’ Disney films would be classed as a guilty pleasure.

What movie/movies have you watched a million times already? Labyrinth, Edward Scissorhands, Cry Baby, Batman Returns, the first Pirates Of The Caribbean, Beauty And The Beast, there’s loads 

Are you the type to watch a movie on its first day of showing? No, I don’t have a cinema near me and they make me feel a bit anxious so I usually wait for films to be released on DVD 

How often do you go to the cinema to watch a movie? Last time I went was 2013 to see The Conjuring

What are the movies that made you cry? It’d take forever for me to list those lol I cry at a lot of films…I actually can’t watch Fox And The Hound anymore because I cry too much and it just upsets me too much. There’s a fair few films that have an emotional affect on me!

Do you watch foreign films? Not really as I can’t stand reading subtitles. I do like an old Parkour French film though think it was called District 13 with an actor called David Belle

Who are your favourite director? Probably Tim Burton.

What movie soundtrack can be found on your iPod/MP3? I don’t own either of those…but I have CD soundtracks to Bridget Jones, Pirates Of The Caribbean 3, Titanic, and some Disney CDs

Have you ever watched a movie alone in a cinema? Nope but I would if I could get over the anxiety of being in a cinema 

What is your favourite chick flick movie? Pretty Woman, Steel Magnolias, Bridget Jones…hard to choose!

Are there any movies that have changed your perspective in life? Pay It Forward was one that really made me think when I first saw it. As well as Patch Adams and Jack.

Do you read movie critic reviews before watching a film? Nah I like to make my own opinion 

What is your favourite

comedy movie? The Mask 

Drama movie? I don’t really know what would be classed as a drama movie 

Western movie? Does Smokey And The Bandit count as western? Lol 

Rom com movie? You Me And Dupree 

Horror movie? Tortured, Jeepers Creepers, When Darkness Falls,and all the Saw movies

Sports movie? Bend It Like Beckham

Sci-fi movie? Men In Black if that counts as sci-fi 

Action movie? Can’t think of an action movie off the top of my head

War movie? Boy In The Stripped Pyjamas (kinda war movie it is about the 2nd world war) and Goodnight Mister Tom (again, based in a war time era)

Who is your most favourite acting duo? Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter. 

Any movie character you can relate to? Esmeralda from The Hunchback Of Notre Dame, and Lisa&Susana from Girl interrupted. 

If you could only watch 5 movies for the rest of your life what would the movies be? Labyrinth, Beauty And The Beast, Pirates Of The Caribbean, Pretty Woman, Harry Potter

Your least favourite movie of all time? Philomena, it was a major disappointment and really crap. And I never used to like Donnie Darko but I haven’t seen it in years my opinion could change lol 

Favourite movie character of all time? Jareth The Goblin King- Labyrinth and Edward Scissorhands

Favourite movie villain? Davy Jones in Pirates Of The Caribbean I guess

Star Wars or Star Trek? Star Trek 

Favourite movie lines? “God will forgive them, he will forgive them and allow them into heaven; I can’t live with that”- Deadmans Shoes. “Can’t rain all the time”-The Crow. They’re the only two I can think of off the top of my head, but there’s loads I love quotes!

If your life story was to be made into a movie, who would you like to portray you? Who should be directing and what should it’s title be? Either Winona Rider, Helena Bonham Carter, or Emma Watson. Probably Tim Burton. Title…erm…I have no idea it’s not something I’ve ever thought about. Maybe just keep it simple and have Amy as the title. I dunno haha!

🔹immeamy, you’re you, and that’s the best way to be 🔹

Music Tag Questions 

Last song you listened to? I will not say goodbye by Danny Gokey 

Last song you purchased? I don’t download songs but the last album I purchased was Ed Sheeran as a Father’s Day present to my stepdad 

Song you discovered on YouTube? I’m always discovering new songs it’s hard to name any haha 

Favourite movie soundtrack? Anything Disney, but I also love the Pirates Of The Caribbean soundtrack 

Favourite band? Oh god I don’t know! Steps, We Are The Fallen, Lordi, I can’t choose my music taste is all over the place

Favourite solo artist? David Bowie 

Favourite album? Can’t pick an album there’s so many I love 

Best live gig or act you went to see? City And Colour, they’re the only ‘proper gig’ I’ve been too, but I enjoyed going to a lot of local gigs with friends bands playing.

Guilty pleasure song? Probably anything by Steps I guess, everyone is always really shocked when I say I like old cheesy pop bands lol 

Song you used to hate but now love? I Wish I Was A Punkrocker (with flowers in my hair)

Song you used to love but can’t stand now? Sacrifice by Creed. A certain person ruined that song for me.

Band you wish had never split? I don’t know really if I’m honest

Favourite song from a movie? There’s too many to choose from 

Favourite song from an advert? Pampers advert that plays I’m Coming Home, and an old advert that played Adiemus

Song you grew up with? Living Next Door To Alice by Roy Chubby Brown.  But there’s so many others too, that one is just the most random lol 

First song/album you ever bought? Michael Jackson Earth Song single. 

Favourite foreign language song? Siuil A Ruin from Lord Of The Dance which is celtic so kinda ‘foreign’, lion king soundtrack, Sunchyme by Dario G, Sonne by Ramstein, and any Enya songs she sings in Celtic. 

Name a song from the year you were born? Fields Of Gold- Sting (1993)

Song you can’t help but sing along too? Every song. I’m one of those annoying people who can learn lyrics super quick 

Favourite song at the moment? Bartender by James Blunt. 

🔹immeamy, you’re you, and that’s the best way to be🔹

Weekend chat

Afternoon. Hope you’re all well. Thought I’d do a little chatty post to distract me from feeling so shite and because I’m knackered but can’t get comfy enough to join my daughter for a nap! My brain isn’t working enough to do my assessment so thought I’d just ramble on here instead. 

My friend Mackenzie was supposed to be visiting today, but we’ve had to change plans as I haven’t been well, and even though my stomach is calming down, I now have a cold/flu type thing I think from being run down and because of the heat we’ve had recently (heat always makes me ill) so yeah safe to say I’m not 100% at the moment! 

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Today I thought that I’d dose myself up with painkillers etc, do my hair and makeup, and take my daughter into the village for the local fete thingy they do every year to get her out for a bit. It was pissing it down with rain, and I got a bit upset walking home as there were a few things from stalls I wanted to get for her and I was going to get myself a burger but I just couldn’t afford any more than what I had bought (I’ve been getting really down about money lately from having to pay for driving lessons, I haven’t got my daughter even half as many birthday presents as I planned to get her, I need a new microwave but can’t afford it…I’m just getting upset about it all which is stressing me out and making me feel awful). I did manage to get her 3 things though with the change in my purse: 

First is a little lion that roars, which was £2.50 but the money goes straight to a charity that helps look after horses.


Second is a toy story felt colouring board for £1.50- I wanted to get my daughter a few of these as they’re great I loved them as a kid, but I didn’t have enough money so I just got her this one as she loves toy story 


And lastly I got her this cuddly toy of a character from the Ice Age films for £2. My daughter saw it and was begging for this particular one, and luckily I had enough shrapnel to get it for her…she cuddled him the whole way home 


There was a big blow up bouncy slide thing, and my daughter really wanted to go on it, but for a start I had no money left and secondly she’s too little to go on something that big…when I told her this she replied with “no I big mummy, please please please mummy please”, broke my heart bless her. 

Here’s a few photos from the parade thing they done in the village 


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We came home and not long after a parcel arrived…the other week on Facebook The Works had a giveaway thing where you just had to like the post to be entered…I accidentally liked the post but yesterday I was told I had won! It’s a set of 3 books about anatomy…I’m going to keep the larger book, my mum is having the yoga one but I have no idea what to do with the body building one haha! 

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Well I think I’m gonna watch Crystal Maze (though I don’t like the new presenter) and then pray my bread hasn’t gone mouldy and that my bacon has defrosted! Otherwise I have no idea what ima have for dinner. 

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I need to remember that tomorrow I have someone coming to pick up my daughters old car seat that I’ve managed to sell to a local…fingers crossed they turn up, but also means I need to look at least half human tomorrow haha! 

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Hope you all have a good weekend. I’ve got two quiz things planned to answer and post on here so may post them over the weekend. 

🔹immeamy, you’re you, and that’s the best way to be🔹