For years I have always looked forward to Boxing Day, purely for the random stuff you end up eating that had been left over from Christmas dinner, especially cold chicken sandwich with loadsa salt! So this year mum has let me and my daughter stay an extra night because she knows I love Boxing Day. However this year I’m feeling kind of sad about it.
I’ve really enjoyed being at mums and having adult company, and my daughter has loved having other people to chat away to and play with…she’s only had 1 little strop since being here whereas at home she can have a few in a day so she’s obviously happy being here. It’s kinda made me realise how truly lonely I am at home as the only adult. I adore my daughter and love being with her obviously, but it’s things like watching a game show and playing along at home with someone else seeing who can get the most right…I also sleep soundly with no nightmares here because it makes me feel safer knowing I’m not the only adult in the house, and that if someone so much as drives down the track the dog would bark and alert us, whereas at home I’m the only adult with no one there to comfort me if I’m scared…I’ve even recently had to move the nightlight from the landing into my bedroom because my nightmares have been getting so bad that it convinces me my door is being opened etc so with a nightlight it’s bright enough for me to see but not too bright to stop us sleeping. I’ve also liked having dinners made for me which sounds silly and probably a bit lazy but if someone else cooks then I enjoy the food more. It’s also making me kinda sad to leave because my Nan goes home the day after, and I have no idea when we’ll get to see her again especially if I don’t pass my 2nd attempt of a driving test. I also know damn well that my daughter is going to be so upset to leave- she adores everyone here including the cat Topaz and dog Roxy, so to go home where it’s just me and her is kinda boring in comparison- and my mums house is bigger and more spread out so she has more space to run about here than at home.
Usually people get homesick and can’t wait to get home. Personally I’d rather stay here 😞 so it’s gonna be really hard to not show I’m upset tomorrow and then the day after when we go home and back to reality again.
I wish mum had 2 houses next to each other, that way I’d have the best of both worlds. Maybe we could move in to the barn with the cows…
Sorry to kinda end on a downer, but I’m all about honesty on my blog, and hopefully by getting it all out it will make it easier to not cry in front of everyone as I’m struggling to hold back the tears even now just thinking about it.
🔹immeamy, you’re you, and that’s the best way to be🔹